Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
