there's paper in my vomit.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
