So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
