just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
