Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
