the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
