I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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