I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
