Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
drinking out of a sandbucket again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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