Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
