You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
