dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I feel like death gave me a hand job
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
