the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
