So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
please don't ironically join a cult
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
