so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
