I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
