my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
