We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
