MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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