trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You ruined the universe
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
