She said her name was "party"
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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