He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
