Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
