Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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