all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
MIDGETS
????
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
