he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
