I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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