ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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