Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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