I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
