he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
