sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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