Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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