She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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