Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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