She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
