If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I bet he comes in French.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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