so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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