the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
he shaved USA in his pubs
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
