My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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