I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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