why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
My dick has a subreddit
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
