I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
