You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
