I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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