I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize