what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
