He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
50% drunk capacity currently
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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