I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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