New low: just hacked my moms facebook
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
nutella sex= disaster
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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