I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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