Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
