vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
