porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Fuck appropriateness.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize