Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
