You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
