I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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