...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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