It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
