I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
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