The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize