Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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