It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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