Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Just took my morning after pill in the library
and i looked up. we had an audience...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize