Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
So. Much. Porn.
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