Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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