If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize