yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Randomize
