We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she pinky promised me she was 18
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
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