My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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