No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
