I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
