No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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