ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize