Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
