Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
