I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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