Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I AM VODKA MAN
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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