Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you didnt know i had herpes?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
