I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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