Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
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