You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
