So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
