Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Someone came in the potted fern
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
